Krishna Devi Dubey..
I lost my grand mother last month.She was 76 years old. She was religious,strong,elegant and simple lady.She lost her mother in very early age and brought up by her Aunt.She got married when she wast just 14-15 years old. Immediately after her marriage she assumed her new responsibilities as she received four sister-in-law(younger than her) as daughters.She raised all of them as her own daughters.She raised , educated and married them along with her own kids.
In the meanwhile she gave birth to three daughters and two sons.So she had to manage 7 daughters and two sons.She got her appointment letter when she was expecting and within 10 days after giving birth to my father she joined as School teacher in nearby Government School . During her teaching service she educated all her kids and raised them with good moral values and education.She sacrificed all her comforts after she assumed responsibilities of the family.She was more than Ardhangini( better half) to my grandfather.
Idioms, short stories and mythological stories were at tip of her tongue. She was religious and hardworking lady. I never saw her protesting and cribbing against anything or drooling over past.My Grandfather’s job involved frequent transfers so they both decided to station all children at single location under my grandmother’s surveillance. Grandfather used to visit family as per his convenience or on vacations.She was teacher all her life and she used to say sermons/ stories/ idioms while she use to talk to us. She was very particular about few things especially about her daily regime,political views and her food preferences.
She was ardent Congress supporter and that too of Indra Gandhi. I could almost understand how Indra Gandhi would have won election even after imposing Emergency which was gross misuse of position and authority’s .She must be an icon to all Indian women who symbolises liberation, leadership and opportunity to millions of Indian women’s. Even my Grandfather’s mother used to be strong supporter of Indra Gandhi.Today whenever all my uncle and aunts meet they always quote an incident where she ( grandfather’s mother) intervened into a family duel of one of their neighbours. Husband asked her with what authority she is trying to intervene as it is his internal affair?? She gave an excellent reply which shut his mouth in front of couple of other neighbours. She asked him then why Indra Gandhi intervened between the Pakistan and Bangladesh war ? Just to ensure that justice prevails and neighbours live peacefully.
My grandmother wasn’t extrovert like her mother-in-law.She was shy and introvert.During her last few days she got completely bed ridden and stopped taking food. She passed away in afternoon in front of her husband, daughters and sons.She wished to meet everyone few weeks before as she must have realised that she is not going to be around soon.All her sister in laws visited her and stayed back till her last moment despite their own old age.They tirelessly served her as she was the one who gave motherly treatment to all equally.But like everyone she has special inclination towards his younger son ie my Uncle.She was his biggest supporter in every aspect.
I wasn’t attached to her much so didn’t cried when I heard her demise news from my father over phone.But I experienced the sense of loss on third day when we went to cemetery to collect her ashes. It was an spiritual experience as there I realised that in the end everyone departs alone and everything is just materialistic possession, money etc. I got her gold bangle which she use to wear from the ashes and it was the moment which made me emotional. Now she is no more.As per Hindu rituals we have to submerge the remaining ashes in the nearby river.As per our belief soul is eternal and body is just temporary abode of the soul.
My grandfather is alone now and cry often as he now miss her company.He is sad from inside.I could sense the loss in his eyes now.My grandfather is now very old and withering day by day rapidly.But he is still attached to so many small things and which bothers him. I think letting go is the most difficult thing in life for someone like me who is very emotional.It is good to be Stoic.Major reason for sadness and unhappiness is Asakti I.e. attachment to someone or something.Once someone reaches that indifference zone everything seems mithya. This is how people suffer from inside.I m preparing myself for more.